so my good news...

Currently Reading Weetzie Bat (Weetzie Bat) By Francesca Lia Block see related

ugh, so im over the fever and headache part of whatever i had, but my left lung hurts something aweful and i'm really week, i can't even walk across a room without getting tired... and there feels like there is a man with a pitch fort behind my eyes and if i move them to far to the left or right he goes crazy and picks at my brains... so i can only look forward.... it kinda sucks.

tomorrow im going to sleep some more, i'll read a book and maybe i'll write.

i miss ray.

im in love.

with my blackbird.

and i hope he knows that i have only felt this way about one other person...

man sometimes i really miss zac, alot, and i hate that i fucked things up so bad that we wont ever be able to be friends.

and im still jelous of liz... cause she is so much prettier than me.

i've been having major issues with body image, i've started to hide it again, wearing big clothes, the only time i really dress up is to go out and dance at 80's night.

but this past thursday, i felt so slutty and ugly that i got physically sick  thinking about it.

sometimes there is no end to how much i hate myself.

and its so weird because im not sad, im very content in everything, but i just cant stand to look in ther mirror anymore, so i dont.

i hate when people comment about how my face looks, because its breaking out all over the place due to stress, and i know its ugly and i know that i cant help picking at it, which only makes it worse... so just bugger off, i know it looks bad, no need to remind me or make off handed comments about it.